The No Chance Band

No Chance Band was formed in the summer of 1979 in the basement of a world famous pub known as The Blind Dutchmen, sitting in a ramshackle, hard knocks portion of Liverpool. Its original founding members met while staggering down stairs in search of a restroom. After a few rounds of ale a fortifying shot of Peach Schnapps the new band mates agreed that rock and roll was dead, disco was ruining the world, and John Denver was in dire need of a haircut.

After several recording sessions in the world renowned Fairmont studio of producer Argyle Smithwicksonburg the rollicking foursome laid down what was to be the first and only album of No Chance Band. Upon hearing the final cut, Argyle promptly set fire to the studio declaring "what has been captured here can never be duplicated, replicated, annotated or bifurcated. As the studio burned the band drove off in their 1966 VW to hit the road in support of the record. Rolling Stone heralded the album as the "worst piece of self indulgent, misguided, narcissistic, inebriated music ever recorded." Inebriated it most certainly was as the now deceased founding drummer Gerald von Hornstein recalled in his memoir that it took no less than 147 bottles of vodka, 75 cases of Pearl and a gallon of Kentucky white lightning to complete the studio album. The New Yorker once referred to the album as, "confirmation of the decay of western society."Fortunately for the band, nobody in Liverpool reads the Rolling Stone or the New Yorker or anything at all for that matter and Argyle was able to book numerous gigs at local venues such as the famous Horse and Saddle Lounge, Coopers Alley, St. Lawrence Episcopal Church and the underground rock icon Sewage Center.

Spirits where high in the Spring of 1980 when vocalist Dermot McDermot had a tragic accident involving a quart of motor oil, two pounds of butter, a horse whip and a Stretch Armstrong doll captured on local cable access news. What followed was a downward spiral of drugs, alcohol, and women until in the winter of 1982 the band, unable to inspire a follow up album disbanded in favor of a new venture. Acting. Yes really. No I'm not kidding.